“You must find the courage to leave the table, if respect is no longer being served” - Tene Edwards
Just like you, there have been times when I’ve asked myself why I’m still around some people who don’t deserve my time and attention. But I’ve found it hard to walk away. A tiny voice in my gut would scream telling me to stop scraping for an “opportunity” because while wasting my time on it, the “big one” might be hovering past me.
And that’s true! Why do we spend precious time with people who don’t appreciate what we have to offer?
This is one of the major reasons of break ups, whether in a personal relationship, in a corporate setting and even in being in a band.
The truth is, each person’s time has the same value. But sometimes, this is being disregarded. What then should you do?
Here are 5 ways you can develop the habit of valuing yourself.
RESPECT OTHER PEOPLE’S TIME & OPINION
I’m not trying to be counter intuitive when I say this. But it’s plain and simple. When you respect other people’s time and opinion, you are also subconsciously telling yourself that others must respect yours too. That, to me, is the beginning of mutual respect.
LEARN TO SAY “NO”
You’re not trying to be rude. On the contrary, the ability to say “no” to others will make others respect you even more. Why? Because you’re not giving others empty promises. Again, this boils down to a foundation of respect.
CREATE A PERSONAL BOUNDARY AND PROTECT IT
If you value yourself as much as you do others, you should define your boundaries and protect it. You should never compromise it. In it is where your peace and solace is found. It’s your zen place. And anybody who disrespects your boundary doesn’t respect you.
LEARN TO GIVE AND TAKE
When we compromise, we lose a part of us in the process. We are then left feeling less than how we felt “coming to the table”. The alternative is one of Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits, which is to think “win/win”. When we give, and give willingly, we take in the feeling of fulfillment. And it’s way better than losing a part of you all the time.
BE PREPARED TO WALK AWAY
At the beginning of every relationship, always be willing to walk away when the relationship gets too toxic to repair. Don’t waste your time on someone or something that is pulling you down. Disclaimer... this is always a last resort. Most of the time, things do get resolved before it gets to this.
At the end of the day, we can only speak for ourselves. As long as we aren’t stepping on anybody’s toes, we shouldn’t have to feel guilty about thinking of ourselves. Everybody has goals and dreams. Yours is no less than theirs. If you’re with someone who doesn’t value who you are or what you can offer, talk it through. And if you find yourself in a deadlock, be ready to get up and move on. Time is of the essence.
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